From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

12.
UNDERSTAND THE SIX NEEDS OF MOURNING

NEED 4:
DEVELOP A NEW SELF-IDENTITY

*A big part of your self-identity may have been formed by the relationship you had with the person who died.

*What was your relationship? If your mother died, you may find yourself feeling orphaned. If your spouse died, you may be struggling with new found and confusing feelings about being a widow.

*While you must work through this difficult need yourself, I can assure you that you are and always will be a child of your parent, a husband to your wife, a best friend, etc. While death may change the language that others now use about your relationship, the bonds of the relationship do not simply disintegrate and vanish.

They were, they are, and they always will be.

*Still, in others ways, how you define yourself and the way society defines you is changed. You need to re-anchor yourself, to reconstruct your self-identity. This can be arduous and painful work.