I just can't believe that we are starting the new year without you. It breaks down all that is in me. I mean, even I don't believe anymore you are laying on the beaches of Florida.

It is becoming tiring turning all the thoughts in my head around to make the days go by easier.
I tell myself, Joanna:

You were lucky to have Michael in your life,
You were lucky to have shared so many laughs together,
You are lucky to carry him with you in all that you do.

Truth is ...

Lucky would have been holding your children.
Lucky would have been sitting here listening to one of your crazy high energy stories.
Lucky would have been having you still sporting your Superman belt buckle bent over cane in hand, gray hair half fallen out, speaking at my funeral!

Truth is ... I miss you!