My girls see right through my facades: hoping to make it through the day behind a stressed smile, a promise to make them clean the whole house with a toothbrush next time they leave their dishes on the floor.
You know ~ mom stuff.
Sometimes though, I have other stuff besides a fake smile or empty threat going on inside this crazy head. Its heavy and changing my life. I simply can't figure it out or how to move forward.
Today I realized my 15 year old has powers other then knowing when I am really going to ground her from her iphone.
She said to me that she wants to do the hair coloring, piercings, etc... things that would actually make her look like she sees herself... now while she can. She said she may not be able to when she's older. Maybe she will have a job that won't let her. Or, what if she.... well, I'm not even going to type that what if. I'm sure you understand.
Her argument is one I am suppose to disagree with, I am suppose to tell her the future is hers and everything will come to her in time.
But, how could I. If I did, she would definitely use her super teen powers to see past those words.
That Do-It-Now is the very heavy place I have been spinning in. It's like she saw right into me and jumped on that turning wheel herself.
I am wondering does she truly have magical teen powers to see into me, am I facade challenged, or was her feeling this struggle inside me a mystery kin to menstrual synchrony.
Or do we hit life's mini golf curve balls into the same spinning wheel attraction thingy, that's just beyond the waterfall and alligator's rusty old moving jaws.
..... Oh, and for a little self therapy, you know to help move along my progress off the spinning wheel, as well as a show of my faith in the future.... no piercings or tattoos until she's 18 years old.
See ~ progress :)
"Go for it now. The future is promised to no one."
~Wayne Dyer
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| Let's not tell her she may be more like me then she is ready to handle. |
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