Facebook

My daughter is a bit more then tired of me using her facebook. She tells me all the time that I had actually started one a long time ago and that I should get THAT figured out.

I have a lot of hesitation about facebook, but she is right, I should probably stop stalking her, my cousins, nieces and nephews through hers. I can do all of that just as easy through my own:)

So, I had facebook resend me my old password and reset everything up.

I was curious who was already on there as my friend, so I clicked the tab for friends and this is what it said:

You do not have any friends. Once you find some friends, they will appear here.

OUCH!
I think if this is the kind of treatment I am going to get from facebook, a slap of reality in the face, then I imagine we will have a very short relationship! On the other hand, if facebook can make friends just appear we might become best buddies.... or as the Man says.... best besties! (Excuse me for a minute....I just threw up a bit in my mouth!)

Good Bye '09

I have worked all morning writing a post to say good bye to 2009!

It was filled with anger for my Aunt Bonnie's murderer cancer and my Cousin Michael's murderer Dan Larsson. Anger at the unfairness of Diabetes and the coldness of Clay County Prosecuting Attorney Dan White!

The blog embraced the sadness that lives with me but also the names of all of us that stepped up to the ugly of the year with courage and grace!

It ended with the truth that I simply hurt and long for one last opportunity for us all to sit around the table: to joke and play and have fun-together!
But, would one moment really ever be enough.

But then I thought to myself:
Same ole ... same ole.
All talk no action.
All problems with no solutions.

DO SOMETHING!

Not just for myself but if I am going to carry the spirit/love of my cousin, aunt, uncle and grandma, do they want to accompany me as I mope around another year.

No!

They want to live.
Live through me,
through you!

Michael was dreaming of walking the beaches along the Gulf of Mexico. Aunt Bonnie was dreaming of a retirement filled with family and fun; visiting, doing all her projects she had to keep putting off throughout her life.

I too am a dreamer! But now in 2010, I plan on being a

DOER not just a DREAMER!

Take my hand and walk these dream clouds with me. Sure, we might fall through a few, but we can always land on another one until we find the right one!

If your ready, follow me here:
http://doersnotjustdreamers.blogspot.com/

Oh, and adios 2009!

HELLO DOER!

Image of Me

The image of success I had conjured up in my mind did not reconcile with the full length image of the me I stood staring at in the dressing room of Kolhs.

Its hard to talk myself down from such betrayal.

This morning I was elated because my prize size 10 black jeans actually zipped; too tight to wear but they for the first time in 6 years zipped.

But now, bare but panties and bra all I can see is the flab, stretch marks and the miles more to go.

Like when I used to work hard in my room for hours, proud to be putting on the finishing touches, my mom would poke her head in to check on me,

"Oh, Joanna, your off to a good start.. Keep working."

I just have to resolve to the truths:
my room was still a mess (though it was good enough for me.)

and in this moment in front of this mirror, the same is true

..... I just have to keep working!