Top 10 Ways You Know Your Man has MLCD*

10. He forgets family members names; where he is driving to.
10B. He asks what your plans are for the upcoming Friday, when you have had the same plans every Friday for FOUR years.
9. After you've talked with him you wonder what the hell he just said to you.
8. Not much of anything at home makes him happy.
7. He spends his lunch money going to the bars and coffee houses.
6. He doesn't complain about your messy house anymore, because he won't invite his friends over anyway.
5. He "Wanna talk about I -Wanna talk about number one -Oh my me my"
4. He buys a cell phone and puts the family on mac and cheese for weeks because he goes over on his minutes.
4B. U discuS probz & fite n txt.
3. His honesty brings you to your knees.
2. Your main goal in life becomes to make it through the day half way sane and without crying.
1. He says he loves you, after he explains his "freedom" needs.

*Midlife Crisis Disease effects men at whatever age they decide symbolizes their loss of youth and hopes that they will someday be millionaire bachelors holding wet t-shirt contests on their yachts, sipping margaritas in one hand and holding themselves in the other. MLCD continues it's hold on these men for an indefinite amount of time. Side effects are: slight brain damage and loss of all basis of past realities, taking the women holding unconditional love for them for granted and treating people carelessly. There is no known cure at this time.

The Magic Room

The Magic Room
A Guest Essay
by Sam Hale

Last night I stood outside the bedroom door as my thirteen and ten year old granddaughters (sisters) were laughing, singing, playing and had been for over three hours. They had only been interrupted for a few minutes by dinner. I stopped in to play with them several times throughout the evening but they didn't need any help having fun.

For the last fifteen years my grandchildren, nieces, nephews and a few lucky friends have disappeared into the magic room, only to be drug out by their parents to go home. Their parents sit in my living room first amazed then startled when they realize their children hadn't been seen or heard for hours.

"It's impossible," they say. "Impossible. Three and four year can't have an attention span that long."

Then they go look into The Room, shake their heads in awe and stare in at their kids.

When my girls were grown and married, we were blessed with seven grand kids.

Raelynne, Jeremy, Johnny, Annalise, Audrey, Samantha and Sabrina.

We have a wonderful time and many traditions. So many as Granddad, I am proud to have started.

However, Grandma invented and built this magic room.

It started as the bedroom of my youngest daughter. It was always a happy and fun place to enter. When she moved out my wife started fixing up the room. She had me install shelves and tables around the three walls. I knew she was making a play room for our kids. It evolved into The Magic Room where our grand kids make war, fly airplanes, raise families, fight Indians, play school and visit places they have read about, seen pictures of or used their very bright imagination to create. I'm very sure they go places that I don't know.

The prime users of the room are now four of our granddaughters; fourteen, thirteen, ten and eight years old. Once in awhile the eighteen year old still enjoys the room.

The sisters and cousins have the rooms divided into "my house". All four have areas that are equipped to send the imagination individually or in groups from the moon to just in charge of your own family.

Grandma filled the room with PlayMobil toys. I don't know if there are one or one hundred of everything. I do know our kids have dozens of every type of people, I know. Not to mention the airports, forts, houses, castles, filling stations and on and on.

When the kids enter the room it glows, they sparkle and the magic begins.

I don't understand it. But I love it. Grandma brought the gift of love and imagination to my kids. What is gained? My kids read not because they must but because they love to. They can see the play in their minds. They all make good grades. My eighteen year old has many scholarships to help her in her freshman year in college.

I am very glad to have The Magic Room in my house!

Blue Angels of Truck Driving

Want an apple, but don't have an apple tree?

Want to top your homegrown tomato off with some cottage cheese?
Need more trash bags before the trash truck comes at 8:00 am?
New Pen? Dog Food. . . cat food . . . baby food . . .

No worries, you can run to the local Sunfresh and grab all that's on your list.

Like Magic?

Opening a speakeasy in your basement? Found the finishing touch on ebay - a 1938 5 cent slot machine. Problem. It won't fit in your car. (Not that it matters anyway you live no where by the Hollywood club in Toledo.)

No worries, it can be delivered to you front door.

The convenience of having all those things at your local grocer and your front door delivery is provided not by magic but with the help of your local truckers.

With that in mind, it was an awesome experience to watch a showcase of the top Kansas Truck Drivers on a hot June Saturday at the 2007 Kansas Motor Carriers Association Professional Truck Driving Championships. (In truckease - "The Rodeo".)

Truck drivers spit shined their cabs, rolled up their sleeves and accomplished some unbelievable "problems". The elite, invited to compete due to their safely record, performed amazing maneuvers. They are the Blue Angels of truck driving.

Our John started the rodeo off. We cheered as his name was called. We took pause at the announcement of his 300,000 plus miles of safe driving! (We all know that's what brings him home every night.)

The competition field was made up of six "problems" that were similar to everyday challenges: backing up to a dock, parallel parking, diminish alley, maneuvering around obstacles as close as possible but not touching, weight station, and the final stop.

On the diminishing alley, the driver had to center the truck with only 6 inches to spare on each side. 6 inches! (Please remember that they are professionals, do not, I repeat, do not try this at home.)

That is how the day progressed. One by one the Truckers pulled out of the starting gate to the glory of their safety records with intentions of a top performance that would take them to Nationals. And one by one, they blew me away!

Magic . . . no way . . . just down home Truckies doing their jobs!!!!