Day 1 - GET THE HELL OFF THE CLIFF!

I have been traveling up the Pikes Peak of Weight Loss, as it is my life long challenge. Almost to the top, shedding size and now easily traveling..... I fell. Luckily, I grabbed the edge of the cliff and kept myself from the Road Runner fall to the bottom. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have the good sense to pull myself back up!!!!!!!!!!!

I loved the view from the practical top. I loved the ease of movement I seemed to have found . I loved throwing my old clothes away and grabbing less of it in replacement. I deeply love the confidence the journey revealed in me.

But, even after 9 months of traveling with the right food and step, I discovered that I am no match for delicious, wonderful, sweet smelling, and heavenly tasting.....chocolate!

CHOCOLATE IS A GATEWAY DRUG!

Once touched all other indulgences seem to find their way to my mouth without thought or resistance.

I am now hanging from the Pikes Peak cliff with the weight of a 1000 pound Chocolove Cherries & Almonds in Dark Chocolate bar bound to my ass! And I am calling out to air support to lower me some MORE!

SERIOUSLY???? !!!!!!!!!

So, today I am lifting myself off that damn cliff. Then I am going to rest here for the next 10 days and revamp for the rest of the journey to my new home! Were I will live my fit, no holding back full life!! In clothes that will make everyone judge me as I pass. With a cockiness that I always begrudged the skinny people. And a self confidence that I crave: hopefully more than Chocolove Cherries & Almonds in Dark Chocolate bars!

Immediate Goal:
*1 days fasting! Yicks!
*Continue to exercise as best I can
*Be happy
*Start Journal/blog
*Listen to music
*Walk

Long term Goal:
*10 days of one day at a time fasting!!! Double YICKS!
*Journal/blog every day

To keep me busy:
*Finish my short story I started in Feb.
*Clean my attic
*Help with Aunts House
*Go to lots of soccer.
*Play with Kids
*Top my game on COD :)
*Any and everything I can outside to keep me connected!
*Stay away from "food gatherings" :)
*More music and walks!

WISH ME LUCK!
(and the family :)

Carpe Diem

seize the day; enjoy the present, as opposed to placing all hope in the future.

From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

24.
SIGH

*Sighing is an expression of letting go. When we sigh, we resign ourselves to something. We accept something, though perhaps it is something we didn't want to accept.

*In Romans 8 is says that when there are no works for our prayer, the spirits intervene and pray for us in sighs deeper than anything that can be expressed in words.

*Sigh deeply. Sigh whenever you feel like it. With each sigh, you are acknowledging that you are not in total control of your life. You are accepting what is.

*Each sigh is your prayer.

From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

23.
CREATE

*...Make something that expresses your feelings or honors the loss you are mourning.

*Is there a creative activity that you find you lose yourself in---that you get so involved in that you lose all track of time and place and you become immersed in your creative process? If so, that's that kind of activity you want to do now.

*Write. Paint. Sew. Scrapbook. Kit. Garden. Cook. Play an instrument. Decorate. Organize. All of these activities are forms of creation. Pick one that moves you.

From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

17.
CRY

*Tears are a natural cleansing and healing mechanism. They rid your body of stress chemicals. It's OK to cry. In fact, it's good to cry when you feel like it. What's more, tears are a form of mourning. They are sacred!


* Your pain, your grief, your overwhelming loss disturbs the world around you. Disturb the quiet with your soul's cry.

*On the other hand, don't feel bad if you aren't crying a lot. Not everyone is a crier.

*You may find that those around you are uncomfortable with your tears. As a society, we're often not so good at witnessing others in pain. Don't let those people take your grief away from you.

*Explain to your friends and family that you need to cry right now and they can help by allowing you to.

*You may even find yourself keening, which means a loud wailing or wordless crying out in lament for the dead. Keening is a instinctive form of mourning. It gives voice to your soul's profound pain at a time when words are inadequate.

*You may find yourself crying at unexpected times or places. If you need to, excuse yourself and retreat to somewhere private. Or better yet, go ahead and cry openly and honestly, unashamed of your tears of overwhelming grief.

From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

15.
LOVE YOURSELF

*Someone once astutely observed, "Love is the highest, purest, most precious of all spiritual things." Sometimes it is easier to express love to others than it is to ourselves. Yet, by feeling your own love in a more direct way, you can be transformed and open yourself to new spiritual understanding.

*Loving yourself starts with accepting yourself. If you, as a living, unique human being, are unable to value who you are, who can? If part of your need to mourn is anchored in recapturing your capacity to give love out, you must start by giving love in. Honoring YOU is part of your need right now and nobody else can do it from the inside out.

*Loving yourself means recognizing you, seeing you, and honoring you.

From the book,
"Healing Your Grieving Soul,
100 Spiritual Practices For Mourners"
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PH.D.

18.
SCHEDULE SOMETHING THAT GIVES
YOU PLEASURE EACH AND EVERY DAY

*When we're in mourning, often we need something to look forward to, a reason to get out of bed.

*It's hard to look forward to each day when you know you will be experiencing pain and sadness.

*To counterbalance your normal and necessary mourning, plan something you enjoy doing every day.

*Reading, baking, going for a walk, having lunch with a friend, playing computer games- whatever brings you enjoyment.

(Just remember- no inappropriate risk-taking)