A poem by - Mary Ainge De Vere

Lifes Mirror

There are loyal hearts, there are spirits brave,
There are souls that are pure and true;
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

Give love, and love to your life will flow,
A strength in your utmost need;
Have faith, and a score of hearts will show
Their faith in your word and deed.

Give truth, and your gift will be paid in kind,
And honor will honor meet;
And a smile that is sweet will surely find
A smile that is just as sweet.

Give sorrow and pity to htose who mourn;
You will gather in flowers again
The scattered seeds of your thougth outborne,
Though the sowing seemed in vain.

For life is the mirror of the king and the slave-
'Tis just what we are and do;
Then give to the world the best you have,
And the best will come back to you.

- Mary Ainge De Vere

Number One Fan

Could it have been foresight that my mother crewel embroidered this sign for me? Could she have known that I would turn out to know nothing at all? Or did she hope to inspire me to become imaginative with this subliminal message greeting me daily for three decades.

Perhaps, she simply fancied the design and while stitching she day dreamed of my sisters and I sitting together in a home made tree house discussing and debating the worlds hard questions.

Regardless of how it came about, this motto has become part of my design. My imagination is in full swing - for better or worse!

And to this day, Mom continues to be my imaginations number one fan. She invites it in, asks how it's doing, makes it chocolate chip cookies. (She even let's it lick the spoon.)

It always comes home with an inflated head; feeling like it can do anything.

Mother's Day Proclamation - 1870

by Julia Ward Howe

Arise then...women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says: "Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe our dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
At the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God -
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Faithful Elephants

When Annalise turned the corner she had tears in her eyes. Since she is fourteen, it took me off guard. I looked at my younger daughter for a translation.

"She just read 'Faithful Elephants'. I tried to tell her it'd make her cry."

Samantha and I had read "Faithful Elephants: A True Story of Animals, People and War" by Yukio Tsuchiya the previous evening.

Nancy, our own personal librarian at the Downtown Kansas City Public Library, suggested it to us. She warned us that though it is wrapped up as a picture book, it was a tough one.

In the preface "To the Readers", Chieko Akiyama conveys his hope that the reading of this book help bring about "seeds of peace and war prevention will be sown."

By the first few pages of the story we were heartsick for John, Tonky and Wanly.

During WWII, these three elephants were of many killed by Ueno Zoo keepers who thought that IF any of the animals survived the bombings they would be loose, scared and therefore dangerous.

For whatever reason, the keepers were unable to poison the elephants as originally planned. John, Tonky and Wanly were starved to death.

"Over two weeks later, Tonky and Wanly were dead. Both died leaning against the bars of their cage with their trunks stretched high in the air, still trying to do their banzai trick for the people who once feed them."

Our sorrow extended to the elephants Japanese Keepers who were ordered to carry out this death plan.

At the end of the story Samantha had one burning question,

"Was the Ueno Zoo bombed?"

Other words, did John, Tonky, Wanly and their zoo friends have to die?

We took the question to the web. Google's only response - Hap Halloran's, WWII Prisoner of War, web page.

'Then Hap was moved to Ueno Zoo in Tokyo where he was a prisoner in an animal cage and tied to the front bars in his lion cage so civilians could march by and view a B-29 flyer. He was naked and black from non-washing and hair all over his face. Hap lost 90 lbs. and was covered with open running sores from flea-bed bug bites.'

After being left with these two brutally honest contradictions of war, I have one simple burning question:

What if Samantha, Annalise and myself . . . along with you . . . extended our hands out of our caged thinking and fostered the growth of seeds of peace in memory of Tonky, Wanly, John and Hap . . . and the googol of other victims of wars?

I am Brave

When the softness leaves his eyes . . .

I tell myself,

"Deep Breathe Girl."

When his truths sucker punch me . . .

I tell myself,

"I will be okay."

When I can't find the courage to even get up to leave . . .

I tell myself,

"I am brave."

After days like today . . .

I tell myself,
"HOLY SH@$."

The Arrival of Jealousy

In our house the arrival of Jealousy is strictly taboo. She came in with the gust of a 1930's dust bowl and made herself at home. Most often we walk around her pretending that she is not there. Sometimes, I will set my mind to sweeping her out of our home. (Or at least under the rug.) But before I can finish this monumental task, the man of the house mixes her a drink.

Drink in hand, fueled, Jealousy orders return address stickers with her name in curlicue's and our address in bold.

It's not that I have never been jealous before. In the past it was a fleeting thought.

"How cute that dad is out by himself with his little kids, I wish that was my husband."
"They look great on the dance floor together, I wish that was Ben and I."
"They won how much? Why not me!"

It's just that this is the first time I have had her as a house pest . . . I am completely unequipped for the battle.

She is a strong contender; armed with ugly truths.
She is wise; she embedded herself with Love.
She is sneaky; she attacks after I think that she has hit the road.
She is bold; she invades my dreams.

I know if I could simply stop feeding Jealousy with time she would either leave or wither away. Such is my intent, but . . . damn, a girl can only take so much.

So, I sat her down today for a long talk. Told her this "arrangement" was not working out for me. And as Marion Robert Morrison might say, I told her with absolute certainty,

"This town ain't big enough for the two of us!"

The talk went . . .okay . . . she was a great sport about it, she even offered to help me pack!

A Soccer Folly

PARENT VS. REFEREE; PLAYER VS. PLAYER; PARENT VS. PARENT

A SOCCER FOLLY

The game started off with a group prayer in the middle of the soccer field. Each player beside her soon to be opponent. Prayer is a hard thing for me. It seems to be most often used as a wishing list. But, seeing the game started this way did make me feel good. (Of course, a group hug would have worked just as well. . . for me.)


Before I begin the Follies, I would like to pose a rhetorical question:

Have you EVER in any sport from pee wee to college seen a referee/umpire . . . any official, change a call because of something a parent yells from the side line? EVER?

The answer is NO.

Such it was on this particular sunny day in the middle of No Man's Land Kansas.

The referee WAS among the worst I have ever witnessed.

At first his bad calls had no bias. But, to the misfortune of my daughter's Lazers team, there pacing the sidelines was one particular parent who was feeling a little God like. He knew what SHOULD have been called (every time) and he was not afraid to share this information with the referee. (And as you might have guessed, in his world the Lazers had a perfect game with no fouls, no off sides, no trapping the ball, etc.)

Eventually, it was hard to get a call in favor of the Lazers; that is just how it works. It was inevitable with the God Like Lazers Parent continuously shouting at the referee.

Selfishly, I was more annoyed with him because he was obstructing every ones view - mostly mine - of the game.
(Like a St. Patricks Day Parade Parent. The ones who follow their child performers along the parade path and stand in front of the people who have been waiting and waiting sitting there on the sidewalk. I look up , because of course I am talking about ME, to watch the dancers and I am butt level with a group of obnoxious parents! My kids are crying and I'm..... sorry, I tend to get carried away.)

As I mentioned, this was one of the most deplorable jobs of refereeing I have personally seen. He wasn't calling fouls. The other team had lots of replacements so they always had a blast of new energy but they didn't have the skills to even turn the ball around on the field. Girls with no skills on the soccer field are dangerous. They just don't have any control. (Especially, if they are bigger.) The opposing team were all over our girls.

Another truth to any game: Not calling the personal fouls makes for a wild game! It didn't take long for the Lazers to become just as reckless if not worse. It is that whole justification thing.

Toward the end of the game, one of the Lazers blatantly shoved her Opponent off of the ball. She "won" the ball and had passed it as the Referee blew his whistle. About the same time, the Opponent ran over to the Lazers girl - who no longer had the ball - and shoved her across the field.

God Like Lazers Parent started yelling, "That is what happens when you don't call the game." Over and Over.

The Referee warned him that he was on his way to the parking lot. He then huddled the two girls in question for a fatherly talk. The surprise finish, the Ref gave the ball back to our team. Man, that broke the other team out of their silence.

The next excitement in this brawl was a call no referee could have won.

Lazers Girl had the ball, Opponent was taller and therefore pushing down on Lazers Girls back. Lazers Girl was now trapping the ball. Tit for Tat; both illegal plays. This call did not play out in our favor. Opponent was awarded the ball. Lazers Girl Dad was up out of his seat - crazy mad having his say.

Now for reasons I just don't know, perhaps the Opponent's Parents had had enough as well, one of the parents from the other team decided that he was going to set Lazers Girl Dad straight. So the yelling began. First from where they were sitting, and then face to face.

Opponent Dad, "You can't trap the ball."
Lazers Girl Dad, "The other girl was on top of her."
Opponent Dad, "You can't trap the ball."
. . . just keep replaying this dialogue and that was about the jest of it.

I wanted to walk up to them and tell them Hallelujah they were both right. That the only foreseeable answer to this problem was for all us parents to storm the field, over throw the Officials and let these two dad's referee the remainder of the game.

Just as I was about to my feet to offer my solution, the parent confrontation turned from bad to downright UGLY!

Opponent Dad, "Just go sit down. Just go sit down. Just go sit down."
Lazers Girl Dad, "I will, your not worth my time!"
Then it came down like the judges gavel from the Opponent Dad, "And you call yourself a Christian."
Lazers Girl Dad. "I am a Christian. I am protecting my daughter!"
Opponent Dad, " You don't need to protect your daughter that is what the Referees are for!"

I had to laugh to myself. We had come full circle. Just as both girls on the field were wrong, both dads that stood before us showing their a$$es, were also wrong.

As Opponent Dad stated, Lazers Girl Dad can't protect his daughter on the field. Besides, she was way past it and still giving her all out there on the field. And as Lazers Girl Dad said, the referees were just plain awful!

The battle was over. Lazers 2 - Opponents -3.

I felt as exhausted as my girl who could barely make her way to the car. Along our way we passed Lazers Girl Dad, God Like Lazers Parent and Opponent Dad who were all huddled together in a group hug.

Amen....

. . . Okay, I made that last part up. I can't help it. I just love a group hug!

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